Dear 128 lbs Self,
You have issues. I know you think everything is fine, that you just are being mindful, health-conscious, careful with your diet… but You, you are starving yourself. And exercising way more than you need to to maintain balanced health.
I’ve been saying it all along… but I think you’re ready to hear me now.
What, you think just because you weigh 128 lbs that you’re not anorexic? Listen, anorexia is not just a physical thing – too skinny – it’s also a mental and emotional thing. Like, you live and breathe out of a space of obsession over any little calorie you consume or expend. The numbers constantly swirl in your head. You lose sleep over the fact that, while you’re sleeping, you are not burning enough calories BECAUSE YOU’RE RESTING.
Girl, that’s weirdo material right there.
I don’t mean to be in your face or mean or abrasive. But enough is freaking enough already. It’s time.
I’ll bet you’re scared. I get it. Ashamed. Sure. (Not that you should be! THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. It’s the way you’ve chosen to manage your emotions. The method you’re holding onto to make it through the next breath, with all those memories and feelings churning deep, deep under the surface.)
Hey, the good news is this: I won’t leave you. And there’s help! And HOPE! This doesn’t have to be your death sentence. You do NOT have to be bullied by these thoughts forever. THERE’S A WAY OUT OF THIS HELL.
The way out is THROUGH, but – no worries, just one step at a time.
Today, let’s just admit this:
- Your whole entire universe is wrapped up in pain and warped out on illusion
- Your self worth is completely based upon your scale weight (& whether your hip bones jut out far enough…)
- There’s deeper stuff in you that is eating away at your soul
- Those voices in your head, the ones telling you you’re too fat to eat, too fat so better exercise more & more & more, too fat to be loved… they gotta go
Work on being in love with the person in the mirror
who has been through so much but is still standing.
That’s probably enough for today. I’m sure you’re feeling like your whole world is turning upside down & inside out. Because it is. You’re having to learn to cope & process some rough stuff. But you will.
Freedom is going to taste really, really good!
I love you too much to stay silent any more,
Your True Self
Energiegal here…. Love works. LIFT the vibe of our world.