I’m one of those souls who gets easily disappointed. It’s something I’m working on… and trudging through. Since I know that the only way out is through. (I’ve learned that much on this journey.)
Definition of disappointment from Merriam-Webster:
- The act of an instance of disappointing: the state or emotion of being disappointed
- One that disappoints: he’s a disappointment to his parents
I’m figuring out that I SET MYSELF UP for disappointment when I have EXPECTATIONS about how something is going to unpack. My emotions and feelings become attached to the outcome. When and if the results do not match my hopes and dreams, my emotions and feelings become crushed. My whole world crashes.
When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. – Ryan Reynolds
I have chosen instead – and it’s been working pretty well – to have preferences rather than expectations.
Definition of preference from Merriam-Webster:
- The power or opportunity of choosing
- Liked better; more to one’s liking
I find that with PREFERENCES, my emotions and feelings remain uninfluenced. With PREFERENCES, I realize that I cannot control every aspect of the situation and those persons involved… and handing over my power, my emotional/mental/physical health, is risky and ill-advised.
Trying to design the perfect plan is the perfect recipe for disappointment. – Patrick Lencioni
I’ll be happy if “this” happens.
(I cannot control the outcome of “this.”)
“This” does not occur.
I am unhappy.
(I have put the control of my happiness in another’s pocket.)
I would prefer “this”, but either way, I remain stable.
(Because I realize I cannot control all the factors involved in “this”, I refuse to hand over my power.)
I am thrilled.
“This” does not happen.
I am still okay.
(My happiness remains within my own pocket.)
This perspective of OWNING my preferences but not having expectations keeps ME in charge. Someone else is not responsible for my happiness.
Understanding the connection between our expectations and our emotions is helpful. When my emotional investment is poured into an outcome I cannot influence, I am at the mercy of the fickleness of life.
Preferring rather than expecting has been a practice for me. Disappointment has been a monster in my closet for the longest time. It’s “out” now, and we’re coming to a mutual understanding that I OWN MY HAPPINESS.
When we choose to remain standing in our own power, all others around us are encouraged to do the same. Having expectations put upon us by others is not Love.
Whisper words of wisdom: let it be. – John Lennon
Energiegal here…. Love works. LIFT the vibe of our world.