I have two sisters and three brothers. I am very close with my sisters, though all of my siblings mean the world to me. I am the oldest and have always felt like the one responsible for them, on the lookout for them, very protective and nurturing. I even have a tattoo of roses around my ankle which signifies my being tethered to them before, now, and always.
Recently, I found myself in a scary situation. I was faced with a decision: tell my sister the truth and risk upsetting her and possibly severing our communication, or stay silent and risk her dying. Dying. D-y-i-n-g.
I spoke up.
“Let me give you one last hug, just in case.”
Her guarded reply: “Huh?”
“Honestly, I am not sure if I’ll ever see you again. So, just in case this is it, I love you.”
“Look, the truth is this: if you don’t start taking care of yourself, Sis, you will not last another year. You are a freaking mess! You take care of everyone else except yourself; you smoke; you eat too much sugar; your hormones are all over the place; your body is a mess from lack of exercise; you endure constant pain; you’ve shelved so much emotion.”
“And I just had to say something… because I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t and… you died. Or something. Like. That.”
We hugged. I didn’t know what she thought of my honesty. I’m sure there was a great deal for her to have to process. I’d share so much and so bluntly.
But I cared. So much. I couldn’t not speak up.
Fast forward to nine months later… and my sister is kicking proverbial butt! She did a 180, started calling doctors and doing research. She met with hormone specialists, is on a hormone and vitamin/supplement regime, watches her carbs, has lost 20-25 pounds. She’s starting to exercise, think more clearly, feel more empowered. She’s processing long-shelved memories, hoofing it through the peaks and valleys of long-held emotions.
I’m so damn proud of her.
And so happy for us!
Today, while on our weekly phone chat, she credited her recovering journey to my courage to be honest and her boyfriend’s frankness around the same time. Like power twins, he and I surrounded her with love, but a whole lotta truth; we saturated her with truth, and a whole lotta love.
And she has done the work!
Having those tough conversations with another, with yourself – well, they’re, hard… but the way out is THROUGH. And sometimes the truth pisses you right off before it heals you.
The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.
I do not recommend listening to every single word spoken about you. (Others’ opinions of me are none of my business.) However, I do think that there is benefit in listening to the counsel of those very close to you, those with whom you have gained trust. You know they have your back. When THEY say something, give a listen.
If they’re true-blue, they’ll stick around to hold space for you while you process, research, process more, and heal. And most likely they’ll be the loudest cheerleaders at your Best Life Now Party.
Energiegal here… Love works. LIFT the vibe of our world.