May 2nd – birthday gratitude entry:
“Really? A fourth one?” The sonogram showed that we were going to be welcoming our fourth son. Of course, I was elated. Another child! That said, in the previous few years, my mom had passed and there was an ache within me that I (mistakenly) believed a daughter would ease. I would do with “her” all the things mom and I never had and now would never have the opportunity…
And then there was the fact that my first three sons presented on the autistic spectrum… and could I do another one like this? Sigh. Of course I could. If The Giver of Souls saw fit to give me another special needs child, it can only be because our family was equipped. Still. I was overwhelmed.
Austin Julian Glasier arrived exactly on his due date – and has been late for every single event since. Of all four of my sons, he reminds me the most of his father: even-tempered, quick to toss a joke, intelligent, hard-working, and knows how and when to have a good time. Austin is the only one among us flavored “extrovert.” Within our tribe of introverts, he is our comedy, safe sane space, and reminder that there is life outside of our one acre of land.
He was the son who brought home all his friends, who then became part of our family. It was not unusual for us to wake up on a Saturday morning and count three extra pairs of sneakers. These friends have become like brothers, loyal and always looking out for each other!
Austin gives me great hope for the future of humanity. He lives from a space within him of integrity and hopeful thinking. Do you know that I have never heard him say an unkind word about anyone? Ever.
He has made mistakes. He has owned them. He has grown past them, through them, and matured into someone I admire. Should he and his girlfriend of nearly five years choose to have children, they will be the luckiest kids on the block. If they grow to be a third the class act their dad is, kudos. I trust Austin with the lives of my future grandchildren and the future of our world.
Here is his song. It carries extra special meaning. You see, when Austin was asked to pick out his band instrument, he desperately wanted percussion. I agreed that this would be a perfect fit for him! His teacher, however, insisted he play the areyoukiddingmeugh french horn. Austin was crushed, but his teacher unpacked: “Dude, the horn is the toughest instrument around, requiring intelligence and attention. I believe in you. Please?” Austin conceded. He took one for the team. He rocked that horn. But, THIS song is his heartbeat.
All the other kids call me “Mom.” Austin, however, calls me “Mammy.” He makes me smile, sometimes shake my head, and always glad that The Giver saw to it to grant me one more son.
Austin Julian Glasier, I love you.
You. Complete. Me.
Much love & hope,