May 12th, birthday gratitude entry:
Our first reaction to those who treat us in less than an honoring way is often to retaliate. But, MLKing reminds us, “hate does not banish hate.”
A tribute, Lis, to those who’ve stomped on you? A thankfulness towards situations that have caused you pain?
Abso-freaking-lutely. THIS is the tough terrain on the journey of “waking up”, healing, remembering, and becoming, O Sacred Ones. So many among us avoid this difficult part of the path… because it’s… difficult!
(I’m getting much better at this “yup, this turd is a turd” thang.)
Herein lies OPPORTUNITY rather than Obstacle. When you are treated “less than,” YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
“–but they MADE me feel angry towards them–”
FALSE. You, Dear One, CHOSE to react in anger. (This is a high-vibe concept and I totally dig if you’re resisting. It’s cool. Resist. But follow that “feeling” of resistance all the way to the end… and see what you find.)
“No one can make you feel anything without your approval.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Here’s your Opportunity – a holy necessity – on your journey! Because YOU GET TO FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT’S THERE IN YOUR GUTS!
Is it easy to love those who send sweet notes, congratulate and encourage, think you hang the moon? (of course) But… how about those who send you a note saying “your hair should be tied up in church, you’re acting whorish” or “your motives are selfish” or “how dare you…” or “you should be wearing pants!”
Or you hear through the grapevine of a nip of gossip about you… hurtful, indeed.
Listen, I’m not saying IT DOESN’T HURT. Acknowledge the pain – BUT DO NOT REACT OUT OF IT.
I’ve had a few lovely chances to see how I would react to a hater. Oh, that I could report that I’ve always triumphed, remembered my divinity and Love, and responded in kindness.
But, I am getting tons better at the following:
— first, is there any truth to the statements?
— if so, work from that space: apologize? Make amends? Own it?
— if not, deep breath… and thank God you have this opportunity to see what you are truly made of, how far you’ve come from reacting to hate with hate
— oftentimes, people’s hateful ways are really not about you personally… I always think, “wow, you must really be hurting to slosh all that hurt around and get some on me.” Then I toss them a good vibe. No judgment. Been there.
I’ve come to a Space of Ease in my life – and I invite you here – of believing that people are doing the best they know how… and that, as soon as they know better, they do better. It actually takes a whole bunch of effort and energy to be offended, to hang onto anger. Caring but choosing to stay rooted in kindness is a way easier vibe. Living proof, me.
My dad used to say when I was a kid, “we’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.” I understand this better now. If you’re holding grudge about someone mistreating you, might I ask: are you part of the problem or part of the solution? And, is holding on to someone’s ill treatment of you from yesterday making you feel any better today?
What if we approached each one and every situation with CURIOSITY rather than FEAR? I tell you the Truth, I think we’d all be better off for it. And so, here is my song of sincere gratitude to those individuals and those situations in which I cringed, lost my appetite, wanted to binge, cried, got angry, felt misunderstood or mistreated, alone… because THROUGH these experiences, I have been blessed with opportunity to let go of ways of thinking that do not benefit me nor the Collective.
I find it bang-on excellent that Alanis chose to be naked in her video of thanks… being grateful to the situations and individuals that have stirred up pain is a very bare-your-soul kinda modus operandi used by those who remember who they are: spiritual beings having an earthly existence… and the only path to higher-vibe living.
Besides, pants suck.
Difficult peeps, and challenging situations, I love you.
You. Complete. Me.
Much love & hope,