May 15th, birthday gratitude entry:
Hey, do you know that you are good, and good enough?…. Walk with me through this winding road. It takes me a bit to get us “there” but I pray it will be worth the trek. XO
Do we assume that to make a difference, we need to accomplish something earth-shattering? What if a quart of blueberries and a hug changed everything? Or a simple winter coat?
There was a season of my life when I felt orphan-y. I was not in close relationship with either of my parents, and one particular beautiful sunny afternoon… it seemed like too much to keep trying to smile-n-endure. I buckled. I cried. I’m not sure exactly what happened to produce such a sense of loss that day. I just recall that in that very moment, I ached deeply and whispered, “if I had a hug right now, a hug from my dad.”
A car pulled in the driveway and out hopped Bob Hall, or Dad as I had been recently calling him. He was a kind man, quiet, observant, prayerful. He and his wife (Marilyn) had “adopted” me as their daughter. I felt like one lucky kid!
In that moment that I called out to the Universe that a dad’s hug would bring me peace, there he was, a quart of blueberries in hand. “Mom thought you’d like these.” I began to cry and he hurried right over, embracing me, patting me on the back.
He didn’t ask what was wrong. I love that, in those fatherly instincts, he didn’t try to solve. He just hugged me. When my tears ebbed, he drew back and said, “we love you, Daughter.” Something in me let go; an ease came over me. It’s like whatever was wacky and out of balance righted itself.
I recall the Christmas before receiving a beautiful winter coat from Mom and Dad Hall. They bought each of their daughters a coat… I was counted among them. Can you even?
A quart of blueberries.
But, more, a hug.
Does this sound odd but.. I felt good enough. The way they held space for me allowed for me to feel good about me.
Oh, may we never underestimate the power of our smallest actions borne of love.
Not all of us can do great things. But all of us can do small things with great love. – Mother Teresa
The song I picked is “That I Would Be Good” because Mom and Dad Hall created space for me to be me. Holding no expectations, they loved me because I was their daughter. I felt special with them, and special to them. It remains one of the seasons in my life in which I experienced some of the most profound healing. I am forever grateful.
As an aside or a huge big fat tangent:
Yesterday, I walked beside a client who was struggling with his job as a phone salesman. Feeling pressured to meet the quota, every brand new day was an impossibly big mountain he had to get up and over, every evening was a stress-inducing review of how he needed to do better the next day or else. Something had to change as he was in a real rough way.
I offered this:
What if your job was less “sell” and more “serve”, as in, I get to be here in this skin on this earth today and do my best FOR you.
What if your job was less “get you to” and more “give to you”, as in, I have a service to offer and I’ll do my darn best to meet your needs.
Working from a place of integrity — I’m truly giving my best and holding precious space for special souls — and let the chips fall where they may…
“But what if I don’t meet my quota?”
“Great question. What if?”
“Then I’d probably be fired.”
“Hmmm. That could happen.”
“But what then??”
“Hmmm. Yes, what then?”
“I would be stressed?”
“It is definitely a possibility that you could choose to be stressed. BUT YOU’RE STRESSED NOW.”
(You just know that I wanted to add, “And Dr. Phil would query – how’s that working for ya?” but I didn’t because I don’t like to steal other’s stuff and my client already had that “omg I get this!” look so I knew it was unnecessary.)
Working from “I am good enough already and I am going out there and giving it my best swing. If the ball is over the plate, I’m going for it” rather than “I will prove myself, at the mercy of someone who may or may not want to buy a phone based upon how well I, well, prove myself, and their mood and pocketbook and… “
One is borne of love, the other of fear.
Buuuuuut, I digress…
Our loving actions need not be fancy, eloquent, or perfectly spot-on to make a wonderful difference in someone’s life. The quiet generosity of my Mom and Dad Hall holding space for me – as GOOD ENOUGH ALREADY – has been an incredibly healing vibe for me. I remain overwhelmed with thanks and can only pray that I am successful most days in sending out this vibe to all those with whom I cross paths.
How would you approach this day, Loved Reader, if you knew that you are good enough already? Oh, that we would all remember our good-enough-ness. Amen.
Mom and Dad Hall, I love you both very much.
You. Complete. Me.
Much love & hope,