May 16th, birthday gratitude entry:
As I have been pondering these two terms, allowing them to flesh out their distinctions, here’s what I’ve gathered thus far. Since nothing is etched in stone as I toss this query out to the U, wander with me through this door with an open mind and discerning heart.
–family of origin
–includes grandparents, parents, siblings, children, grandchildren
–commonality to include proximity during those first 15-20 years, possibly but not necessarily genetics, traditions… ancestral inheritance
–very influential right across the board during formative years, ages birth to teens, to include ways of thinking and feeling
–vibrational attraction due to familiarity of DNA, time spent together, memories created
–does not change: always the same people throughout lifetime
–those who are drawn one to another via commonality of interest, thought, preference
–definite vibrational attraction
–often shifts as one’s vibration shifts, as evolution occurs within individual
Basically, you’re born into your Clan and you vibe towards your Tribe.
In conversation with others, there are opinions regarding where police and fire departments, law and government, church, and extended community fit into these two categories of relationships. Some opine Clan, others Tribe. I’m of another thought altogether. I believe neither. They are man-made forms which find their space outside of either Clan or Tribe. This continues to slosh around within me, though, so hang on to what you think.
And I wonder: what is the purpose for each of these – Clan and Tribe – in our lives? To what end do they serve us and to what end do we serve within them? As far as I can tell, there have been Clans and Tribes for forever… so they must benefit the Collective in some way. Again, sloshing…
What if the Clan is where you learn the basics, the necessities, the Big Life Lessons for which we come into skin in the first place. Oh, lil thangs like FORGIVENESS. Yes, forgiveness and ALL that this encompasses: mercy, grace, humility, peace, gentleness, kindness, self-control, joy, patience, faithfulness, “forgetting.” All the Spirit stuff.
This isn’t to say that one cannot and will not learn this among their Tribe. That said, my guts lead me to believe that our Clan is where we make those vital first connections, those links into the depths of our being… into our raw-ness, and in this vulnerable space, we can be hurt in such a way as to get our full attention. In this naked place where our entire being – body, soul, mind – is in high alert, we are most able to work through, experience, love in action and not just theory.
Okay, real life example:
Someone who I believe may be in my Tribe betrays me. I take a deep breath, work through it, and at the end of the day, I no longer consider them Tribe. We do not vibe. Boundaries laid. They are outside of my inner core. I can always walk away – and more often than not, this isn’t even necessary as we will no longer be vibrationally attracted to one another and likely repel. There is no underlying Cord to maintain connection.
But if someone in my Clan were to betray me, it seems that it “feels” different. I take a deep breath, and the working through it includes staying. Boundaries may be laid but we remain, like it or not, within proximity to one another… if not geographically than surely at a deeper place. There’s this underlying Invisibility, a Cord, which tethers us to each other… a connection which begs us to find that common ground, that place of Peace, forgiveness, Truth, growth, evolution, re-connection. Higher Vibration. There is no possibility of just walking away… oh, we may think we have, but I’m not sure that this is the reality of the situation. Recognized or acknowledged or neither, some small hole yet remains.
Opportunity for growth yet to manifest. But potential galore.
I could unpack this for hours, so I ask for you to allow this to be an unfinished theory. It continues to unpack.
And so, today…
I am thankful to my sister, Nina Maria. She is just 14 months younger than me, making her my closest genetic living soul. My closest Clan member coming-into-skin-wise. I believe there is something sacred about this. Doesn’t surprise me one bit that we’ve had an on-again-off-again relationship all of our lives. In this season of off-again, I am trusting that we will find our way on-again… because, I believe, this is how Clan vibes.
She has much more to teach me!
Oh, if you could see her: red-headed beauty; ohmygod smart; mother of four, grandma to six (and does she adore those babes!) She is by far one of the hardest working people I have ever met. We’ve laughed together til one of us has peed our pants (okay, it was her) and argued til one of us has spewed “we’re through, I’m tapping, see ya and bye” (okay, this was me.)
Though we live geographically far from each other and have had seasons of distance relationally, she will always be my closest-in-age sibling and therefore always a priority in my life and on my journey of Becoming. I give her gobs of credit for putting up with my cray cray at times, for encouraging me, and for caring so much about my husband and children. She embodies Tenacity. I think she’s darn courageous.
One day, years ago, she told me that I was “the wind beneath her wings.” Through all the ups-n-downs, ins-n-outs… my God, the stuff we’ve experienced and the absolutely holy and horrendous ways we’ve treated each other… (could we write a book Nin?)… she’s my wind as well.
Clans: we fan the ember among us; we provide current for flight.
I remember my Dad saying to me, “At the end of the day, all who will remain (through the good, bad, and ugly) will be your family.” Having pondered this at length, I’ve gleaned Truth in his statement. Shaken, stirred, and sifted, family will be WITH you… and ultimately – in those spaces where Life matters most – surely FOR you as well.
This is the way Clans vibe.
Nina Maria Augustine, I love you.
You. Complete. Me.
Much love & hope,