Appreciate Me, Dammit!

Photo by Kevin Menajang from Pexels

The deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.

William James, Psychologist

We all want to feel appreciated, to some degree or another. Right? Even the most humble and self-assured among us desire even a little bit of attention, affirmation, love. 

How many times have you felt unappreciated? Unloved? Unseen? 

Have you ever had a conversation that goes like this:

You: “You don’t love me.”

Them: “Of course I do!” (bewildered)

You: “Well you sure don’t show it!”

Them: “I vacuumed the whole upstairs yesterday!” (even more bewildered)

You: “But you didn’t hug me!”

Miscommunication.

The problem may not be lack of love.

It may be lack of adequate communication.

I’m expressing my love to you… but you don’t hear me… because you speak a different language of love.

HOW DO YOU LOVE?

Five love languages: (Gary Chapman’s Love Languages)

• WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
  1. Your coffee is delicious.
• ACTS OF SERVICE
  1. I made you coffee.
• GIFTS
  1. Here’s a coffee.
• QUALITY TIME
  1. Let’s go get coffee.
• PHYSICAL TOUCH
  1. Let me hold you like a coffee.

Since understanding this concept that each of us receives love differently, I’ve made it a point to find out how the people in my life feel loved by me. Because it is vital for me that the others know that I love them, I strive to become aware of how they receive love.

Everything depends on how we love one another.

Mother Teresa

It was big news for me to come to know that not everyone feels loved in the same way. What a revelation and marriage-saving truth this was for me! Not only have I come to understand the various love languages, but I have come to know better how I myself feel loved, seen, appreciated. It has saved many a relationship when I realize that the other one may very well love me but not speak my language.

MY CHILD FEELS LOVED:

I have a child whose love language is gifts. This is not my love language but once I realized that it is hers, I make sure to leave flowers or a bag of chocolates on her desk in her bedroom. This is how she feels loved.

I FEEL LOVED:

My love language is words of affirmation. I also speak physical touch. You want me to know you love me? Affirm me with words and give me a hug.

People who love each other fully and truly are the happiest people in the world.

Mother Teresa

HOW DO YOU FEEL LOVED?

TakeAway:

• It’s why we’re here, to love and be loved. To see and be seen. To appreciate and feel appreciated. 
• Discover which love language is yours.
• Let others know how to love you best.
• Discover which love language is theirs.
• Love them like that.
• Be patient. Learning new languages takes time.

As an Holistic Wellness and Empowerment Coach, I am here to guide you every step of the way on your journey. Appointments available here.

Hugs.

P.S. Check out my Wildflowers On The Path journal series, 30-day prompted journal, Self-Love For The Modern Mystic… an exploration of Love and the empowerment of Self-Love for sale here. 🙂