Fireworks!

A bird sitting on a tree is not afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but in its own wings. Always believe in yourself.

Over the past few days, I’ve heard “stop doubting yourself” and “no more doubt” regarding believing my gut feels, that intuitive knowing within me. I’ve heard these words and sentiments from family, friends, overheard conversation bits while in line at the store, and via book snippets.

So many confirmations. 

I was going to start waxing on and on about how I lost trust in myself, in that inner voice that whispers, in how my guts speak. But who the fuck cares how? The fact remains, I lost it or gave it away or it was stolen or… the vital point now is that I want it back. I want to start believing in myself again. In my abilities to hear, to know, to feel, to sense. That intuitive “I get this” that is better than any other feeling in my world.

I am not like much of the world. I am different. I am me. Empathic tarot-reading astrologer who reads energies and chakras and loves poetry and music lyrics and hugging. I have hidden myself under a bushel for fear of offending people with my eccentricities, my odd ponderings, my intensity. And it’s been exhausting. 

I would not recommend “hiding yourself” to anyone. Be you. Find out who that is and be all in. You may be rejected by some, not accepted by others… but at least you will belong to yourself.

More and more… I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I am very concerned with how I look at Maya. I like Maya very much.

Maya Angelou

Trusting myself, believing in myself… erases all victimhood. I know who I AM. I am Victorious One. I am Triumphant One. I am who I am. All in and full throttle ahead. I am Freedom. I am Other. I am All. I am One.

I am looking in the mirror and there is no reflection… This was the start of a poem I wrote years ago. But no longer do I see nothing. No longer am I invisible. I see me. 

I see me. I acknowledge me. I approve of me.

The world is under no obligation to see me, acknowledge me, or approve of me. I give others permission to pass me right by, to be disgusted by me, to feel apathetic towards me, to misunderstand me, to want nothing to do with me, to disagree with me… for I am not looking to the world for anything.

I belong nowhere. I belong everywhere.

Maya Angelou, paraphrased

I belong. I am allowed to be here. For all my life, I’ve apologized – for breathing, for taking up space, for existing, for having opinions, for being weird or sensitive or impulsive or persistent. For laughing too loudly, for crying every single day, for losing my temper, for not losing my temper, for being an obligation, for calling out shit, for covering up shit. No more doubt. I belong. I am allowed to be here. To take up space and oxygen, to have an opinion which others question, for having deep-wide-high emotions, for wanting to save money and spend it at the same time, for being an enigma and simple too, for loving the worst of people and giving them yet another chance, for walking away from some of the best while wishing them joy, for believing there’s God and Love and Light and Hope and that the stars and trees speak to me.

And so, this morning, I am thankful. Grateful to have remembered that I have the right to be here too. And maybe I’m a lot of work… but I’m also a lot of Love. And I’m loyal, trustworthy, and insightful. I listen well. I hold safe space well. I seek to see the God in each One.

No one belongs here more than you.

Brene Brown

Yes, I belong here. Maybe not even though all these things, or in spite of, but BECAUSE OF. Maybe it’s my kind of quirky vibe that’s exactly what the world needs right now. Maybe, just maybe, Mother Earth and Abba and Christ Consciousness all rejoice in me. Could it be that even the angels are dancing around the throne in my honor?

That I would be good, even if I did nothing.

Alanis Morissette

Today, I am feeling the chains of fear dissolve. I feel lighter, happier, freer. I feel my energies swirling within me, twirling and zapping around like fireworks. I am good. I am good. I am good. Sans trying. Sans striving. Sans masking. Indeed, I am good.

And, ohhhh, I am joyful! And feeling more in True Love with Others than ever! This revelation of my belonging – of my right to take up space and to believe in myself and trust my intuitive gifts – has made me less weary of the world, less worried about belonging, less manipulative… I am free to be vulnerable, authentically me, genuine, and generous. We are FREE! We are Love! We are Loved! We are ONE!

When you trust in yourself, you are trusting in the same wisdom that created you. When you fail to trust in yourself, when you fail to love yourself, you are denying your own Divinity, and therefore attracting the opposite of what The Source is.

Dr. Wayne Dyer

More and more… I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I’m very concerned with how I look at Lisa. I like Lisa very much.

It’s a brilliant, fireworks-y day already! ❤

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