I have “so far” to go on my journey to Nowhere, Everywhere, and Deeper Still.
Upon my sharing that I was embarking on a 40-day Sabbatical Journey, a few initially wondered aloud to me, “what does this entail… like, where are you going? Who will you be seeing? What will you be doing? What sights will you be taking in?”
I’ve pondered my answer. Now entering my eighth day of SJ, here’s what I’ve got:
Where am I going?
- Deeper Still.
Who will you be seeing?
What am I doing?
- Being still.
- Allowing downloads of Love to flush out all fear.
- Recalibrating energies in such a way that I cease trying, striving, mastering, manipulating… and allow ease, peace, breath, harmonious co-creation.
- Getting to know the feel of God’s breath on my cheek, the smell of it, the sound of it, and to open the eyes of my heart to see the eyes of God… peering back into mine.
- Allowing a Truth to settle deeply into my bones: my passions and cravings are for a relationship with God… but I mistake this hunger and thirst for desires for and needs of food, accolades, fame, perfection, knowledge, understanding, even relationships.
- Realignment and reprioritization of what’s most important to me now, in this new season I find myself in… I have such desperation – I feel it in my bones! – but what is it for?… for knowing God? Knowing Love? Knowing myself? Knowing Others? This is feeling like Peace to me more and more, and yet… I still wonder, still ache, still am striving… the journey continues.
- Surrendering and accepting that life is changing and has changed and is continuing to change and will continue to change… all around me in the world, but also in my personal and private life. As such, allowing some things to die, hopes and dreams that used to titillate and excite but no longer set me afire… that these passions are not bad – no! – nor good… but… just no longer are a part of my journey. Like sweaters that still fit but I no longer enjoy wearing, so I’m sorting through the closet and drawers and making piles of what stays and what gets donated to “Sally.”
- Being patient. Gah! This one is an ongoing, forever thing with me and God. I liken it to being married… I knew Husband well enough when we said, “sure, I’m in” but even more now, 35 plus years later. And, hopefully, I’ll know him even better, understand his heart more clearly, and be in a closer relationship with him 10 years from now. Or tomorrow, even. Relationships are ongoing, forever unfolding, and not to be managed or understood so much as to be freely experienced, enjoyed, imbibed… there is no “end” when it all makes sense and every i is dotted and every t is crossed… allow, allow, allow… sans agenda, schedule, goals.
- Viewing life and building relationships as an adventure, with scary aspects and fun parts too… the whole of my life’s plan, purpose, and privilege. And that, by knowing God and knowing Others, I get to know myself more deeply as well.
- Floating up to the strap.
One of my earliest memories is of my mother taking her three boys on the streetcar on the east side of Detroit to Waterworks Park. I was two or three years old, and I recall looking up from the seat and seeing the hand straps hanging down. The grown-ups were able to hold on to the straps, but all I could do was imagine what it would be like to be so tall as to grab those straps way above my head. I actually pretended that I was light enough to float up to the hanging handles. I then imagined feeling safe and the trolley taking me where it was destined to go, at whatever speed it chose, picking up other passengers to go along on this glorious adventure of streetcar riding.Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention
What sights will you be taking in?
- I’m finding myself concluding that this is not mine to determine… that I would focus on reaching for the strap, finding myself light enough to float up to the hanging handle… and feeling safe… and taken where I am destined to go, at whatever speed I am to be going, picking up other passengers on this glorious adventure of streetcar riding.
Oh God, Spirit of Jesus, Christ Consciousness, Love… Angels, Guides… Cause me to float up to the trolley strap and trust that we’re headed safely to the next depot. Allow me to build relationships with other passengers in the car in which I’ve found myself. May I shine and remind us all of the Journey and the Destination, the value in the experiences we allow, the Truth of Unconditional Love, the healing power of Grace, and the staying power of Gratitude. Amen.
And so it is. ❤