EnergieGal

Simplicity

Day Six

Simple things.

Simple things make a big difference.

Drink water.

Get some exercise most days.

Be sure to rest. Especially if I’m tired, rest.

Laugh daily.

Cry. It’s okay. Crying is NOT weakness leaving the body. It’s a movement of energies coming up and out of the body. And this is beneficial. Cleansing.

Eat vegetables daily.

Not too much sugar.

But some because life is supposed to be experienced fully.

Hug.

I think hugging is the most underrated healing agent around.

Gia FurButt gives the best hugs ever.

Breathe. Find a quiet space in the house or outdoors, and sit or lay on the ground and breathe. Notice nature. Give thanks for Creation. Creator. Remember that I AM a Creator too.

Sing.

Loudly.

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
Jack Kornfield

For all the times I had to rush through a shower to get to work or prepare dinner or finish the laundry, take my time. Enjoy. I’ve earned it.

For all the times I didn’t get to watch TV at night because I was working late or tucking five little ones into bed and rereading bedtime stories or listening to the tales of their days, allow myself time in the evening to catch a show. Maybe even let myself watch all of it.

For all the times I ate the leftovers of everyone’s lunches throughout the week and called it my dinner, allow myself a delicious meal, leisurely eaten. Light a candle. No rush.

It’s okay to nap.

To stay up late.

Sleep in the next day.

Every so often, spend the whole day reading.

Crocheting.

Talking to Sister on the phone.

(Don’t look at my watch… it’s only time!)

Sometimes I think I get deep.
No.
I am deep most of the time.
Even about the benefits of simplicity.
I accept this about myself.
Celebrate it even.

But, I’m finding that I don’t have to go that deep to find ways to self-care, to reconnect, to begin to heal. Simple things done with mindful care can move energies with great efficiency. God may be found in the depths… as well as the everyday simplicities.

Love each other like your love yourself.
Jesus

Keep it simple today, Lis. ❤

Feels ‘n J On The Porch

Day Five

Husband is back inside after a second go-round with the snow blower. Suffice it to say, there’s a whole lot of snow out there. It remains one of my least favorite times of the year. I hate wearing clothes and the time spent bundling and unbundling is an aggravation. Sigh. 😦

And yet, FWP. I am thankful for a warm house and hot food. So blessed! It is fun to watch Gia FurButt tromp around in the snow. She loves it! She’s looking at me now like, “hey, Mama GG, wanna take me out for a walk?” (No, lil furry girl, I do not.)

I hate snow. But there it is. All white and cold and fluffy and everywhere and so I figure I better just accept it and get out there and play or something. It’s not moving. And, be still my heart, we are not moving anywhere soon either, so best just accept and receive. Lemonade out of lemons, or something like that. Maybe there’s some fun to be had in them there hills, er, piles of snow and slush.

It’s somewhat like my feelings that I don’t want to feel, don’t want to acknowledge. Please please please just go away. Let me see you but ignore you. Let me figure out how to not feel – maybe I’ll just analyze you or research more about you – but whatever I do, please let me not actually feel you. Embrace you. Allow you to be seen, heard, felt, acknowledged, processed… and you’d think that me, of all people, who know damn well all the benefits of sitting with shit, would know to… well, sit with the shit.

You’d think that I would know better… and I do. It’s not about knowing. It’s about allowing myself to feel. And knowing is easy; feeling is uncomfortable. (What if I see-feel-hear something I hate about myself? another? What then, huh?!)

Alas, here I am. All human and scared and begging feelings to stay back behind the line. “Listen, Feelings, let me write about you; let me listen to music about you; let me read books about you. That’s adequate, right?”

Feelings: No. No, it is not. (firmly, with arms crossed at chest, because that’s how Feelings rolls.)
Me: F-u-c-k. (tantrum-y, whiney, because the idea of embodying is overwhelming.)

I’m going to do it, though. I’m going to feel. I sense Feelings right there, on the front porch, knocking. Thing is, right beside Feelings is Jesus – my main squeeze and super cool dude who loves me big time and is the best big brother everrrrrr – and they both promise to not go anywhere until their message is heard and accepted and new pathways in my brain are created and my heart feels less like mush and ground-up glass.

So, there’s that reassurance at least.

I wish I was ready enough to just hold my nose and dive off this ten foot board into the depths, but here I stand… ah, more analogies that keep me separated from Feelings. I’m a freaking master at avoidance.

So, Lis, today: offer yourself Grace.

So, today, grace. Patience. The time will come to feel and it will be okay and I will be okay, maybe even better than okay. And likely it will take more than one time of “feeling” and present itself as a lifestyle of feeling.

I am understanding that I am not afraid of dying and death. I am, however, terrified of truly living. Of going all in. Of embracing all of It. Life. Love. People. Experiences. Laughter. Sadness. Glory. Victory. Falling. Getting back up. Staying. Going. Hating. Anger. Joy. Tears. Trusting. Healing.

I am terrified of truly living.

What if I’m too much? What if I’m too loud? Too big? Too slow? Too deep? Too weird? What if I’m me and they don’t approve? What if I fail – yet again – at finding me and drawing her out from the depths and asking her live loud and free?

I am terrified of being me. And being seen.

All these fears crash around inside me.

But the biggest fear of all is dying without having lived.

And so…

And so, maybe today I am only ready to be ready to go into Feels. And tomorrow I’ll be even readier. And the next day, I’ll open the door. And it will be okay. And I will not die. I will begin to live.

In the meantime, there’s snow out there and a pup that wants to dance in it. And so, for today, I am thankful. It is enough. For I am well on my way, on my unique journey, of reconnecting me into my heart and coming back on-line.

And it is a good day, indeed. ❤

(Note to self: thank you Hubs and Bestie… among you and J, I got this. <3)

Candles

Day Four

Husband and I just returned from a walk with FurButt. While I ponder and type, he is undecorating the house from the holidays. Wreaths in windows: down and stored. Lighted greenery with big red bows: removed and tucked into boxes. Candles in the windows: staying.

We’ve decided to keep the candles in the windows for now. Daughter AKA BabyGirl – oh how she hates it when I call her this… oh for memories of when she giggled and snuggled deeper into my lap – asked us to maintain the lit windows. I agreed with joy. I’ve always enjoyed the sight of candles, especially candles in windows.

According to Google, the tradition of candles in windows continues today in many homes. During colonial times, when this tradition supposedly began, it was a sign of good news. A beacon of light to weary travelers, it was a way of saying, “hey, we’re here! Need a place to dry your face and prop your feet? We’re here! Hungry? We’re here! Thirsty? We’re here! Feeling overwhelmed? We’re safe! Feeling lonely? We’re good company!”

Need a friend? A listener? A hug? We’re here! Need a family? You are welcome here!

I have become rather nostalgic lately, only four days into this sabbatical journey to the depths of my heart and back out into the world… some of my favorite memories involve our children and their myriad of friends, animals, and somewhere between friend-and-animal (sorry, Walter, but I couldn’t figure you out, man.) Open door policy. No questions asked. Everyone was always welcome in our home, into our hearts, often into our arms.

Which means on (rare) occasions, we did get stolen from. Yep, money was lifted. Some might say we were naive. Chumps. But it was the price we chose to pay – literally – for the privilege of creating safe space for seeking souls. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’ve never felt like I needed to protect my stuff, that someone might steal it. How can it be stolen when I’m not attached to it? How can it be taken from me when I’m not holding onto it?

It’s kind of like when Pontius Pilate said to Jesus, “dude, I can so totally kill you, ya know… I hold the key to your life” and Jesus replied, “man, here’s the truth: I hold the key to my life. If you kill me, it’s only because I’m letting you.”

So Pilate said to him, “Do you refuse to speak to me? Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?
Jesus answered, “You would have no authority over me if it were not given to you from above.”
John 19:10-11

Okay, maybe not a perfect example after all… but the idea that perspective is vital… take what you must from me, I offer it freely anyway. Nothing owns me. I have stuff but I am not my stuff. So, meh, a few souls helped themselves to stuff that was in the home that we’ve created without asking us. And we allowed it to happen. It didn’t happen to us; it happened for us… and we chose to Love.

Thing is, we’d have given them whatever it is they felt the need to lift. All they had to do is ask.

Sigh. My heart… breaks for those who don’t know Love.

There’s a reason why someone is sneaky. There’s cause behind behavior. For my part, God, allow that the Love we share in this house would soften defenses and open hearts. Allow that I would live in a vibe of faith that God is working all things together for the goodness of each One we welcomed in.

God, please keep me open-hearted and seeing the God-spark in each One whose path crosses mine.

Seeing darkness – easy peasy. Seeing Godness – requires Love. Making a big deal out of the Light in another just jazzes me. Reminds me of Who I AM. Reminds me that I AM Light and, as such, I wield such super-powers as Seer, Encourager, Way-Shower, and Grace-Giver.

“Last of the boxes, hon.” Husband has finished undecorating. Already I am missing the red bows. Only 346 days til Christmas, or something close to that. Maybe we’ll decorate early this year. Red bows in September is cool, right? 🙂

Maybe let’s leave the lights in the windows… if only to remind me, each time I pull into our driveway, that God is always welcoming, always home, always gracious… kind, patient… even when I am sneaky and forget that all I have to do is ask… that Love’s answer is always, “we’re here!”

Ah, God. Thank you for never giving up on me… for seeing the God-spark, for treating me kindly. For waiting up late, for drying my face and allowing me to prop my feet. I am loved, indeed. ❤

Tree

Day Three

God nudged me awake at 1:40am. I prefer to say it this way because it makes me feel like my being awake while the world sleeps has purpose. It’s not a madness; it’s a gift. Leastwise, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I read for a little while but knew that this was one of those no-going-back-to-sleep kind of wake-ups, so I donned my kitty onesie pjs – thank you, Sis – pillow and blanket, and headed downstairs to the couch by the big picture window. Gia FurButt took one look at me, sniffled, and headed upstairs. Possibly to take my place on the bed, but possibly just to nap at the top of the stairs.

From my perch on the couch, I can feel the vibe of the biggest tree on our property. It is glorious, all fat trunk and a myriad of branches. Just brilliant! Majestic, really. I am thankful.

Tree and I talked.

Tree: Up again?

Me: Yep.

Tree: Thank you for the company.

Me: Huh?

Tree: You are good company. You notice me; you honor me; you think I’m beautiful. This makes me feel special and loved.

Me: Just like me.

Tree: Well, we’re really not that different after all.

Me: I remember a blind dude who gets healed by Jesus and newly-seeing dude says, ‘wow, I see people and they look like trees.’

Tree: Mmmhmmm.

Me: I’m not anxious. It’s not that, ya know. I’m just awake. The silence is comforting. Everyone else is sleeping and it’s calm, peaceful, quiet. Nice. It’s like I get to re-calibrate or something.

Tree: And yet… you are searching.

Me: I am. ‘I’m out to prove I got nothing to prove.’ Me n Napoleon.

He’s out to prove he’s got nothing to prove.
about Napoleon Dynamite

Tree: (laughing) And how’s this going for you?

Me: Actually… okay. I am not vexed. I know that God is helping me gather all that I know – all that head knowledge and mindful understanding – and welcome it down into my heart space and into my body… a whole-being experience. So that I don’t get religious or stuck or rule-following… knowledge without Love is dry, harsh, harmful.

Tree: Oh so true. My branches and trunk cannot exist without my roots. My roots are vital, life-giving, grounding. This is what Love is for you: vital, life-giving, grounding.

Me: God keeps gently pulling my attention away from “out there” and whispers, “in here.” Love is asking me to look inward, ponder what’s up on the inside of me. Get curious about my roots, my guts, my innermost parts: my heart.

Tree: That’s what’s going on, ya know, all around the world. God is waking up The Collective. Love is plugging them into Love. Everyone is being invited to tune in, turn on, breathe in, breathe out. Come alive.

That’s what’s going on, ya know… God is inviting everyone to wake up to Love, to True Identity, to the Divine within, and to Beauty without.
Tree

Me: I’m feeling this.

Tree: Then you are blessed indeed.

Me: I am. Thank you.

Tree: Thank you.

I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew, FurButt was licking my face. Morning kisses are the best. Her wagging tale and cold nose let me know that it was time to don winter clothing and brave the 7 degrees that Mother Nature allowed this morning. Brrrrrr!

As I headed down the driveway with FB, I passed Tree. We smiled at each other. Tree may or may not have winked. I waved.

Maybe you are searching among the branches for what only appears in the roots.
Rumi

It’s going to be a really good day today, I can already feel it deep in my bones… and down into my roots, er, heart. ❤

There Is No Try

Day Two

Luke: Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.
Yoda: No. No different. Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.
Luke: All right, I’ll give it a try.
Yoda: No, try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.

As I sit here in my office, I am beginning to understand that this is a part of my 40-day sabbatical journey: Unlearn what you learned. Lis, cease trying. Trying to make something happen. Trying to will something to be the way you want it to be or think it should be.

Just. Stop. Trying.

Because, girl, you are miserable. And a misery to be around. Something has got to give… and maybe it’s unlearning what it means to TRY.

Yoda says “there is no try.” So I’ve been sitting here for an hour, asking God to unpack this to me. WHAT DOES IT MEAN “THERE IS NO TRY”?

If it was all about EFFORT, I’d have created seventeen worlds by now.

So it can’t be just about EFFORT.

Manifesting must involve something else. Perhaps effort, yes, but more than that…

THERE IS NO TRY.

I thought that the Law of Attraction said I gotta vibe a certain way and then shit just comes to me?! What the?

“This” is the way I want it to be. So I’ve been vibrating in such a way as to attract “this” into my life. Except this hasn’t been working.

Not that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work, but I think I have been doing it incorrectly.

I do believe in the metaphysics of attraction – of like and complementary frequencies being drawn to each other.

But I think there is a step prior to creating my vibration to attract “this.”

Is it possible that I have to check in first? ❤

Seek first the Kingdom of God… and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33

Is it possible that if my desire is rooted and established in Love, from Love, from Power Within, from That Still Small Voice, from God… well, then…there is no try. There is only do, or do not. There is only flow. Ease. Peace. There is no try.

I have been TRYING to manifest… and it’s felt heavy, exhausting, hard.

I imagine that creating born of Peace feels light, easy, like being on a raft flowing down the river. Like, I’m being led somewhere but not directing the path nor responsible for getting there. I am allowing. I am being in harmony with Creator. I’m not focused on mastering anything, but rather just experiencing Now.

And, joy of joys, because I am Co-Creator and filled with everything I need to manifest, there is no judgment. I am here. I am allowing, I am open. I am willing. When I “get there”, I get there. It’s less up to me to make it happen… and more a faith-walk.

You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.
Jim Carrey

So, yeah, there’s work involved. But work is different than TRYING. It feels different to me. Working towards something with a passion sparked from Within is actually fun, exciting even.

THERE IS NO TRY.

No effort.

I am unlearning how to make things happen.

It’s less trying and more listening; it’s less effort and more willingness.

It’s being okay with catching a vision of what God wants that may be different than I had thought it was going to be… and trusting.

It’s realizing that maybe there’ll still be “trying” moments in which I question myself, God, how things are unpacking… because I’m still learning to trust.

It’s wrapping my heart around the truth that I may still be asked to sacrifice, sweat, bleed, cry, lose, surrender… because this earthly existence isn’t about getting my ego’s way but learning that Love is the Way… and I’m still learning to walk that path.

It’s embracing BEING.

It’s celebrating LIVING IN THIS MOMENT.

It’s remembering I AM LOVED.

It’s BEING HERE NOW, experiencing this very moment.

It’s REJOICING.

It’s THANKING.

Ultimately, I am learning that “making things happen” is not my life’s work. Perfecting, mastering, accomplishing, trying, striving… these are not what I was created for.

Note to self: unlearn what you have learned. Listen from your heart. Allow yourself to be guided. Trust the process.

Me: I have been miserable for 2 ½ years, trying to make something happen. What more can I possibly do?
Husband: Maybe give yourself permission to stop trying.

Husband and Yoda… thank you. ❤

Stop, Look, & Listen

Day One

A distant train whistle sounds as I sit with tea, FurButt at my slippered feet, and this reminds me of when we lived on Washington in Dunkirk, during the early years of our marriage. Good times. ❤ As Steven refurbishes the lower apartment there now, I can’t help but recall so many memories. Vivid. Visceral. I’m smiling.

Our first home to which Andrew and Adam and Alex – no, no that’s not quite right – Andrew was a few months old and I was pregnant with Alex when we moved… so only Adam was brought home to the house on Wash. (Little did we even know about Austin and Alisia.) ❤

Back then, my vibe was so fearful. I tried controlling every single aspect to perfection. Every. Single. Aspect. Unto. Perfection.

There was a lack of generosity and good will in my heart towards myself and others. I compared myself constantly… to others, to an old version of myself. I strived to be GOOD ENOUGH. Daily grind of uphill-only trudging. Exhausting.

I remember first encountering the Spirit of Jesus AKA Christ Consciousness AKA Love and feeling seen, heard, SAFE for the first time ever in my life. I felt like there was a purpose beyond all the striving, underneath all the trying and comparing.

I felt like there was Purpose beyond Striving, underneath Trying and Comparing.

Ah, the fear to never again be left behind, rejected. I could stomach being abandoned — but rejected?! This is what fear felt like to me: rejection.

Which is why I think this past 2 1/2 years of trying to make a splash in the VR on-line sector has been so devastating to me… I have gotten nowhere… because it feels like rejection. This is my deepest fear: to be sized up and deemed not worth saving, not worth staying for, not worth bringing along… leaveable. Forgetable.

And somewhere I know, I understand, that it’s less “them” and pretty much “me.”

An old wound. Deep. Unwilling to dissolve until I sit with it, listen-feel-sense-allow-surrender unto its message. Allow myself to stay with it, not run from it. Give myself permission to be messy in it as I heal through it.

Maybe it’s why I can’t help but stop what I’m doing to look someone in the eyes – the windows to a soul – and to register heart’s beat and vibration. Stop, look, and listen. Like our lives depended on it.

Stop. Look. Listen.
Like our lives depend on it.

Listen with closed mouth and open heart. Speak only as helps and encourages. Create safe space that expresses “you are loved; you are safe here; you are seen and heard; what you have to share is worth considering, pondering… you matter so much to me, to The Collective, to God.”

Just in case. In case they too struggle within rejection. Fear. Like me.

As I begin day 1 of a 40-day sabbatical journey, as Husband is calling it, may I be led by Love out of the wilderness (finallllllllyyyyyyy) — since Love led me in two plus years ago and I’ve wandered as the Israelites did in ancient times (what was it, a 40-year journey for an 11-day trip? eek!) And I am surely ready to be reconnected with Others, and am eager to dig into my part, my role, my bit in the Divine Play called Remembering I AM THAT I AM.

And perhaps I will be led further inward, surely led through, and ultimately led out, filled, and empowered by The One called Love. Who is Us.

And maybe there’s a Tribe longing to be led and we’ll connect and I’ll share my story of heartache-pain-alchemy-awakening-shining. And I’ll say, “oh yes, I recall well feeling rejected but it was my own pain to sit with and when I did, life changed because I changed. I thought maybe I was forgetable but it was less that and more that I had forgotten… me. I had forgotten that I am altogether lovely, holy, divine, worthy.”

Maybe it’s less about being forgotten by others… and more about me… forgetting me.

Or maybe there’s no Tribe. There’s just me and Love and more tea and good memories to recall and even more to create.

Either way, I am grateful indeed. ❤

My Perverse Addiction

How many Romeos and Juliets need to lie dead on the floor before we’re willing to give up this perverse addiction?
Erwin Raphael McManus

Pastor McManus writes: If evolution is our preferred version of human evolution, why can’t we evolve ourselves out of this primal achilles heel we know as love?

Gah, love.

Some of my best memories ever: falling in love, being in love, loving to be in love, loving being loved. Loving my high school boyfriend (isn’t first love grand?) Loving FiveBeautifulSouls (is there anything better than experiencing your children?) Loving popcorn and a movie with Hubs (yum and extra yummmm!) Loving FurButt Gigi (four paws, one tail, big tongue, bigger appetite!)

Some of my most challenging, hurtful, painful memories ever: falling out of love, no longer being in love, hating being in love, not being loved in return. My high school boyfriend breaking up with me (why does this still sting 40-some years later?) My heart breaking over one of FiveBeautifulSouls moving seven – sevennnnnn – states away (be still, this heart!) Hubs going through health crisis (loving is too hard!) Burying loyal, innocent paws-tail-tongue-appetite babies (no words.)

Yes, love is all that – wonderful, amazing, uplifting, adventurous, difficult, sad, heartbreaking, challenging.

And where would we be without it?

In this video, I unpack a passage from Soul Cravings by Erwin Rahael McManus… about love and Love and why we can’t help but crave it, despite ourselves, despite knowing how it can ravage us, drag us through the deepest emotions and clear through to the other side of What-Just-Happened-I’ll-Never-Do-That-Again (until we do… yes, we do.)

Grab a journal. Travel along with us. We’re glad you’re here.

I love you.

Hugs,

Lis xxx

Empowerment & Life Coach

Professional Listener

Lover of Peace

You can reach me here.

Why Are You Craving?

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.
Erwin Raphael McManus

So often, as a health coach and fitness trainer for over thirty years, clients met with me to help them unpack what to eat… inevitably, we found ourselves meandering down the path of WHY do I eat what I eat. WHY am I craving this particular food at this particular time?

It’s been an incredibly fascinating journey… to witness others’ grappling, wrestling, figuring out, coming to terms with, and eventually – gradually, oh so gradually – accepting, leaning into, and ultimately celebrating their CRAVINGS.

What if your cravings are holy messengers?

If you’re curious about what drives you, why you feel compelled in a certain way, and WHY YOU CRAVE… I encourage you to grab a journal and travel a bit with me as we unpack a few pages of Soul Cravings, a fantastic book by Erwin Raphael McManus. Sure to rock your world… as it has rocked my own.

Link to YouTube here.

We can be in this together, if you’ll reach out. Here for you.

I love you.

Hugs,

Lis xxx

Empowerment & Life Coach

Professional Listener

Lover of Peace

Reach me here. ❤

Break Free From Fixing Yourself

The Power Of Acceptance

The moment you embrace all of you is the moment you break free from fixing you.
Lorie Ladd

Do you think of yourself as broken?

If you do, it is likely that you will always be looking for a fix and or a fixer.

I welcome you into a safe and sacred space of being in a relationship with yourself in which you embrace all of you, even the parts you think you may not like or that are broken or that need to be fixed and go away.

Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it.

It is a curious thing, it is a compassionate thing, it is a courageous thing to do for yourself. I know, because I have done this.

I no longer consider myself someone who needs to be fixed.

The amazing thing is is that I started being able to see everyone else that way also. They don’t need fixing, they need hugs, being listened to, being seen. Being held as sacred. Because they have forgotten. They have forgotten who they are, sacred and holy and perfect.

What if we are not on a journey to get somewhere? What if we are here to experience remembering who we have been all along?

Well then, that would be an amazing thing indeed.

Hugs,

Lis xxx

LOVE IS MY GIFT

To: YOU From: Me

Love… is my gift to the world. I fill myself with love and I send that love out into the world. How others treat me is their path. How I react is mine.
Dr. Wayne Dyer

We all so desperately long to feel loved, seen, heard, valued, understood. Don’t we?

I mean, is there anything much better than knowing that the person you are talking with is truly listening? Holding space for you as you unpack your heart?

Is there a better gift that you can give another than to listen well, not to reply but to hear. Not to rebuttal or solve or fix, but to allow them the beauty of being centerstage.

And yet.

As spiritual beings having a physical, earthly experience, we are still learning. We still listen to reply, to fix, to explain. We still forget to hold space for another. They forget to hold space for us. They forget to listen just to hear, not to solve.

And so… I often pray this way:

I allow the others in my life to be who they are and do what they do. I give them permission to be on their journey. Likewise, I give myself permission to be on my journey.

We are still learning. We are still remembering. We all still need space as we wake up.

Make me a channel of your Peace, God. Amen.

Life Coach

Professional Listener

Lover of Peace

Love you.

Hugs,

Lis xxx